Welcome to another edition of “oh god dude, seriously, you did what?,” also known as my battle reports.
This one covers an event that we teased on the podcast, one where Emon (BloodRath) challenged me to a fight at Lock N’ Load. He dropped his Lich2 “Moar Banes” list against my Iron Mother Directrix “It works for Watt why can’t it work for me?” list. On the line: one of Emon’s Championship coins if he lost. I felt bad he was the only one putting anything up, so I offered my own prize if he beat me: a character in my next book. Knowing my win percent, I only did so as there was an unnamed character I had hazy ideas about. I’m not saying I lose a lot, but let’s just say that I wouldn’t bet something I didn’t know I couldn’t pull off.
Iron Mother Directrix
Enigma Foundry x2
Before we begin, two caveats. One, I’d only faced Cryx one time before in all the times I’ve played Convergence. You’re about four times more likely to fight against Trolls than Cryx in the Seattle meta. Two, my dice were terrible again. Last week I found out that they were almost universally weighted towards the crappy numbers by using the salt-water floaty test. However, it was my own tactics, not dice, that I squarely place the results of the game on. The dice were just . . . extra. Like rancid tomato sauce on the moldy pizza of my tactics. Bet you can’t guess how this game went. As always, click on pictures for larger versions. Our friend Dustin took the pics, allowing us to focus on this tactical extravaganza.
Ah, deployment. That’s a lot of Banes. And Satyxis. But I’m sure I’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.
Emon decides to spread out to engage me on multiple flanks. He expects me to turtle up and shoot. But he’s made a mistake! He thinks he’s against an opponent with a functioning brain. A-HA! My ruse worked! He also kills a few of his own Satyxis Blood Witches out of boredom (and, I guess, clouds). He also manages to deny me some of the souls with his placed RFP template.
For those unaware of Convergence tactics, spreading out your front line to shoot at Cryx might seem like a good idea at first. It’s not. It really isn’t. Lesson 1: For the love of the Maiden, don’t spread out your Mother gunline against Cryx. You’re just offering a more fragile line for him to eat. My TEP managed to bring down the Raider captain, but notice how out of position he is from the rest of the army? Yeaaaaah . . . turns out even Tactical Supremacy can’t fix that mistake. It doesn’t help when you lay down two ground pounders on the Bane Thralls and they make every single Tough roll. /facepalm
See the TEP? No? Me neither. And that would also be both Assimilators engaged. Wouldn’t it have been awesome not to have them wrapped up in melee? Nah, let’s move them to the side of the Obstructor screen. And I’m sure he doesn’t want to kill one of the Engma Foundries. Let’s leave him out there too. I’ve truly and utterly realized my Turn 1 mistake that I compounded in Turn 2, but it’s too little, too late. My army’s spread too far out, and he’s busy breaking the machine. Lesson 2: Don’t spread out your Mother gunline against Cryx. I know technically this is the same point, but I figured it’s such a big one, it bears repeating.
Time to answer his killing with my own murder! Assimilators, kill the one Bane engaging you each! Um . . . Tough? Again? Argh. Yes, one of the Assimilators failed to do anything this turn. The Reductors got some work done, but those Bile Thralls are awfully close . . .
Why assassinate a caster when you can just assassinate the army? He saves the best for last, and at this point there’s no hope; he’s got me. Iron Mother waves a little white mechanical flag as she’s swarmed by banes and dies. He didn’t even bother to use the Bile Thralls or his feat.
Brace yourself . . . Cryx won. I know. Total surprise to me too! Lesson 3: DON’T SPREAD OUT YOUR MOTHER GUNLINE AGAINST CRYX!
(1) Don’t spread out your Mother gunline against Cryx
(2) Don’t spread out your Mother gunline against Cryx
(3) DON’T SPREAD OUT YOUR MOTHER GUNLINE AGAINST CRYX
Despite all the buildup for the weeks ahead of it, the actual game was kind of anticlimatic. I saw my mistake in Turn 2, but by then I’d already gotten engaged and couldn’t pull back in time. After that it was just a slow-motion murder spree. Ah well, it gave me good experience against Cryx, and the armies sure were purdy.
Emon now has a spot in my next book. Let the torture implements be pulled out!